Culture, Achievement, and Fulfillment

In many cultures, achievement isn’t simply about personal success because it is often

more collectivist than that. Achievement and striving for achievement are often intrinsically

related to the concepts of family, responsibility, and the idea that your achievements don't occur

alone. While on the one hand, growing up in an environment that praises achievement can be

rewarding and motivating, it significantly shapes how one thinks of themselves as well as their

worth and identity.

For many people coming from these households, the path to achievement and success

is more or less defined in that you choose a field, you work hard in the training or school stage,

choose a stable career, and then try to build a better life. For people who come from families

that have a history of migration or hardship, achievement is more than just building a better life

for yourself; it simultaneously means success is a reflection of the sacrifices they made for you,

as well as a way to repay them for their sacrifices.

It's almost impossible to see how this WOULDNT create a strong sense of purpose, but

again, there is a downside. Obviously, it's motivating, encouraging, and creates an atmosphere

that aids in discipline and perseverance…but no one talks about the burden. The pressure that

comes from trying to carry the family bloodline’s success on your shoulders is simply immense. I

thought I'd feel unbelievably proud of myself when I graduated from university…Instead, I simply

felt relief. “Okay, one major step down, now I don't have to feel the weight of my entire ancestry

for a bit.” Basically, Achievement can provide external validation, but it does not always answer

deeper questions about identity, meaning, or emotional well-being.

One thing that makes this sort of dynamic even harder is talking openly about these

pressures or burdens or lack of fulfillment. Admitting that something feels missing when you are

doing the things you are supposed to be doing can easily come across as being ungrateful,

which is perhaps the cardinal sin in our families. This is why mental health conversations with

professionals can create space for exploring these patterns of achievement and fulfillment in a

nonjudgmental way. Therapy can help us understand that fulfillment often has nothing to do with

external validation; it comes from a deeper sense of alignment between one's behaviour and

what they truly value, such as relationships. This isn't me saying “to hell with your

grandparents,” it's me saying you aren't a bad person for wanting to feel like your heart is full

when you are pursuing something. Therapy, reflection, and open dialogue allow people to

explore these differences, especially when conversations around them are so hard.