Identity and Mental Health

Mental health is often treated as if it is its own thing, sitting in a box, separate from the

rest of us. It doesn't exist in isolation because our mental health is deeply affected by how we

understand ourselves and where we feel a sense of belonging. This is why our identity in the

form of different social dimensions, such as culture, values, roles, gender, or race, among many

other things, plays a significant role in shaping not only our mental health as a whole but also

how we experience psychological distress, resilience, and personal growth. Identity is

complicated and broad because how we define ourselves is, in some ways, up to us, but in

other ways, it's made for us. One thing is for certain is that identity and what we choose to

identify with affects the expectations we put on ourselves. Many people, based on their cultural

or racial or sexual identity, feel an implicit idea about roughly what they should become and how

they should conduct themselves. These expectations come from a multitude of origins such as

family, religion, or community traditions. Of course, identity-based expectations can create a

structure and foundation for our lives in a way that can provide meaning and direction, but there

are, of course, downsides to this. It can lead to internal pressure when personal experiences or

thoughts or actions simply do not align with who we think we should be based on what our

identity or belonging states.

For some, failing a class sucks, but hey, you can always retake it. For some like me who

were raised in an environment where achievement was everything and my self-worth and

identity were inextricably tied to my success, failing a class is an affront on who I am. Similarly,

growing up in an environment in which men are strong and display restraint means that stoicism

often becomes one's identity, making expressing vulnerability even more challenging than

normal. All of these feelings are completely normal, but the problem is that there is a conflict

between what someone feels and what they truly think they should feel based on their identity.

Identity can also be a powerful source of strength. Cultural values, personal beliefs, and

community connection often provide meaning and resilience. Feeling connected to one’s identity

can offer a foundation to one’s life when it feels like all else is failing, even one's mental health.

So I'm not trying to say that you should rid yourself of your identity if you feel something you feel

like you shouldn't feel. I'm saying that understanding the role identity plays in mental health is

important, and it doesn't have to lead to rejecting values or traditions. Therapy is an excellent

place to begin to learn how one’s identity shapes their emotional world and how they might

navigate the tension between their expectations and what they truly need.